Compassion and Forgiveness

 

Compassion and Forgiveness

By: Swami Chidananda

 

          It appears that in life we have numerous  different problems and this variety of problems really bewilders us. Makes us quite confused as to where to begin, how to go about bringing order in life. We feel we are utterly short of necessary resources-time or energy or co-operation of people. Very often you and I become so desperate and helpless; are at the edge of utter frustration.

          However, if we examine all these problems of life and if we go a bit deeper into the nature of all these problems, we find that they spring forth out of some fundamental faulty position. That is where true spiritual wisdom throws its light.

       In our body there are countless organs, limbs, systems and billions of cells and yet day after day the body functions and we have a sense of oneness with respect to this whole body. But with respect to this creation, all humanity, all forms of life and facets of nature we don’t have an inkling that all these also could be just one.

      We don’t suspect that division or duality could be a creation of our own thinking. Spirituality, especially the science of the Vedanta exposes this fundamental error.

       The Vedic portion from the Taittiriya upanishad declares, even when our thinking creates a bit of division, uta-aram-antaram kurute atha tasya bhayam bhavati |  there will be fear. And when our vision leaves no room for a division, then one has abhayam pratishthaam vindate| utter fearlessness.

      Slightest sense of division leads to fear and absence of division leads to natural fearlessness.

       Now we shall touch on true compassion and true forgiveness through the elimination of false duality. When there is the observation, when there is the bright Awareness, we find that certain patterns of thought make us miss the peace which is waiting to be discovered, certain patterns of thoughts within us make us feel bound.  Though objectively, scientifically we are totally free.  That seeing leads to elimination of those patterns of thoughts.

      We shall examine the issue of ‘Compassion and Forgiveness’ which in their true form, in their genuine nature are natural to us. When there is the appreciation, when there is the intuitive grasp that ‘hey! There was nobody other, they are in me, I am in them’. All of us are one.  The one about whom I think, ‘Oh, he did this to me, I will not forgive him for this’.  Actually he is not out there separate. Here I am able to forgive or not even willing to forgive. And there he is who doesn’t deserve to be forgiven or perhaps deserves to be but I am not able to bring myself to forgive him.

       The simple fact that you and I continuously miss or fail to see is, these two figures- the one who is to forgive and the second who is to be forgiven are creations of the mind. The real person out there, I do not know. And the real person in here, I don’t know.

      That is why we call this self knowledge and that is why we say, all our suffering in life is because of self ignorance. Let us not make it into mere words or concepts, rather let us examine this and see the factual nature of these revelations of the Upanishads or so many mystics, so many great seers.

      So the advance summary is, elimination of false duality brought about by thoughts leads to the natural rush of forgiveness as well as compassion.

        Unless this duality is gone, all talk as well as activities much orchestrated, highly dramatized activities of forgiving and showing compassion, serving, charity, help and succor whatever you may call all that unless the basic sense of duality goes away is shallow, is incomplete, is something where apparently much is done but really new problems are created. For one pound of doing something, you in meanwhile have created ten pounds of new problems.

      Many years ago Pujya Swami Chinmayananda gave a topic for essay-writing for youngster in USA—‘The rich do not bring down their walls down but they are very eager to do charity across the wall.’ And that provokes thinking in us. Rather than judging, that rich man and this rich country here, rather than saying that is how the village chief did in my village or that is how Europe or USA or any  particular club or society has been behaving, we need to see this tendency or this behaviour in ourselves. Does everyone of us do like that. We build a wall and ensure that we are at a certain advantageous position. Then safe guarding that position and also patting ourselves and consoling ourselves that this whole position has been acquired through dhaarmika means, mind you in very righteous ways and having all people who agree with us near us, keeping those people who disagree on that far away, arranging for ourselves adequate psychological comfort we say now let us do some service across the wall or may be opening some windows in the wall which are shut at the right time but charity is doled out and we have outlets everywhere, around the world or the much orchestrated way of  charity.

      We could do this in international scenario but why? We could do this in relationship between two people. We two some X and I need not be famous people, need not be heads of state or CEO of a company, we need not be powerful, rich or all those glitter, glamour or those media attention, and being in limelight is utterly insignificant. In learning art of living—this person and I, in whom we see the psychological behaviour can come to an end releasing true love and true compassion, true forgiveness, true acceptance of each other.  These two people someone and I could be unknown to rest of the world too. So known or unknown etc. are not important, but understanding this psychological behaviour is important here. This is a particular psychological behaviour that applies to individual or huge communities and countries, where essentially there is the building and safe guarding of personal image and like the other side of the same coin, building and reinforcing an image of other. In this medium of images of who I am, who we are and who other one is, others are–in this medium of mental constructions there is all talk of being good or being bad and being kind or being cruel and improvement, self development, expanding, growing, becoming large-hearted-all judgment come about. But the basic medium, the basic frame of reference is not disturbed. But the true mystics, the true seers question that first position.

       In Mundakopanishad there is the age old question. In the Vedantic tradition every student learns this mantra, if not in Sanskrit in a translation and enjoys its beauty. Feels good about the Vedanta system but doesn’t really get at the truth revealed there.

        A very advanced student asks the teacher, ‘What is that Sir, upon knowing which all becomes known?’  –kasminu bhagavo vijnaate sarvam idam vijnaate bhavati? Saunaka asks Angirasa  and Angirasa gets excited, this kind of question, I would like to hear and then rest of it is the dialogue of the Mundakopanishad. No wonder they call vedanta as bhedaanta  bheda –division, duality and Vedanta is ending of bheda  bhedasya antah —bhedaanta and the basic meaning of  Vedanta —vedasya antah is also very significant. If you take veda which means knowledge, as the stored knowledge, the accumulated knowledge where you picture yourself as somebody. If that can come to an end you are free from all accumulations of both pleasant and unpleasant nature, you are free from all that is stored up.

      Being free from the stored up stuff you are absolutely in the present, in all freshness. The stored up stuff all said and done is old, you may have the wonderful memory storage like in machines but nothing like fresh, fresh food or the fresh sun rise. Nothing like your child smiling at you now. May not be compared well with the video tape of how she smiled a month ago. What would you prefer, the video tape or the child that is alive?

      In the same way the  present moment and what you and I are at the present moment is of immense importance but we remain in images, in memories and through that we deny the present.

      When we are caught in memories, when we are caught in images and therefore in the past, in the old, the whole question of forgiveness rises.

The past is not so much information, not so much details of events as it is a matter of a judgment that we carry of who we are and a judgment that we carry about who others are.

     If we are not caught in the old, does the question of forgiveness arise at all? So we need to see that this whole issue of forgiving and being compassionate has risen because we the humanity are typically in the clutches of the past.

      For example somewhere I am giving a talk and as we are talking here a lady walks in. I know she had contested in a certain election, I know she is from USA and she had lost by large margin.  Now as she comes in I look at her only in the light of that. Rest of it goes away. I look at her as the person who lost the election. I become extra conscious; if I am giving any example from politics, there is this candidate and she may take it personally or I may go an extra length to gratify her ego. We do this all through life.

       Many a time this is utterly irrelevant and that person may feel very embarrassed. That person many a times had put it all behind, has died to that past of hers but I cling to an image. We all go through sometimes in an embarrassing situation where we console somebody for defeat in election and that person says, ‘I had forgotten you reminded me today.’ Then that person is to console us; not for sorrow of defeat but the embarrassment of ‘Oh, I handled the whole thing in an inappropriate manner’. We are agitated and our image is disturbed if our own mind says, ‘that was not the way you had to speak’.

 You and I are the center of the problem.

      So self inquiry is about understanding how we are trapped, we are caught in images. The basic problem therefore is to be free from the images, from the psychological grip.

      Among memory there is a subset. The subset of memories causes a certain estimation, evaluation of ourselves. Generally we take it for its face value we don’t question. If my mind drawing a small figment of memories says to me, ‘after all this you are a failure.’ I take it for its face value and I feel heavy in my chest. On another occasion if my mind drawing a small figment of memories from its huge store house of things which had happened says, ‘you are really a wonderful person’.  I feel good about it. Now in context of forgiveness and compassion or peace and freedom we must see the role that the self judgment plays.

      In other words, question of my forgiving him, is a valid real question when not just what he did to me is involved but my carrying the hurt is involved.

      The issue of, I want to forgive him rises and it has great strength only when I am carrying the hurt. See how the ‘I’ comes into picture.

       In our psychological suffering there is this ‘I’ and it is a repetitive phenomenon. The thoughts coming in quick succession and building this image and then second time come up in succession and build the image like in a TV screen. The electron beam goes on scanning the screen some 550-650 times in one frame, illumining different points, making some blue, some red, some grey etc so many picture elements are pictured in a certain patterns and you see a certain pattern and you see a horse, then someone riding on the horse. And within a fraction of a second, the electron beam is again hitting whole screen in a scanning sequence. Once more the picture is built and third and fourth time and the movement. The tenth picture may be slightly different from the first one, the twentieth is again different. So we have the sense of movement of the horse and man riding.  And if the whole thing were to be slowed down, then first the whole thing slows down and gradually then there is a still picture, man and the horse. Then go slower then there will be no horse, no rider there are only lines coming slowly one after another. By the time the first line comes second is fading away. If it is slowing down tremendously, at a time you will have one line, further at a time you will have only one dot. But when they come in quick succession at a certain speed and frame repetition rate there is an optical illusion of the man and the horse riding away and even shooting. And we shake in our chair. There can be such tremendous ‘make believe’ aspect of modern technology.

       In the same way if you could slow your mind, you will find the truth of this great spiritual science. There is the creation by the mind, the electron beam here being the memory at work.  Memory paints again and again, ‘what he said, how he reacted and what he did, how I pleaded with him—don’t do this and the last blow, the last straw on the camel’s back was when he physically pushed me, I fell on the ground—and quick repetition of it’.

      So ‘he’ memory at work ‘I’ who relived now that insult and injury. It is memory at work. It is all thoughts (software).

When you don’t take this whole thing as real, the one who also hurt and ‘I’ who got hurt are all figments of memory. The truth is AWARENESS alone, THE SEER ALONE IS

      You can have an appreciation of what meditation could be at this point. In meditation you can see mind at play and you know that the mind is playing. That insight frees you from taking this whole thing for real.

     So this insight into the way our mind works, the walls collapse, the walls break down. In real life we say, ‘we cannot slow down the mind like that, all this is so wonderful to listen to, but actually the mind is at higher speed building pictures and so much wound we carry, it gets stronger, it gets more hurting. Some morning I get up and these memories pain me more than ever before.  What am I to do?’ So we ask so called practical questions.

     Be clear about the fundamentals. Be clear about the basic truths and stay aware. Examine; you find this examining is the way for more and more clear seeing. In other words.

      Seeing is the way to seeing, Loving is the way to love, understanding is the way to understanding, but the truth is just seeing.

      Therefore very many wise people are not interested in giving lectures or writing books too. You know why? Because they saw that the truth is a matter of seeing and verbalizing to a great extent is an entertainment and to a little extent it might set people on right direction. Many felt that talking about Truth, talking about God does more injustice than justice because people are likely to grab a concept, an image, a symbol, and then on spiritual symbol raise a new wall. My book and your book; my mantra and your mantra; my method and your method. So rather than getting into a genuine practice of whatever method there is, we get quite agitated. Our first priority many a times becomes having other member of the family also follow my method and together we will go deep, first let us have uniformity. There is much fight over symbols too in this world of ours.

        So it is a long debate whether religion has divided people or brought people together. We find both are happening. This religion is such a powerful force. Spirituality is such a powerful thing. As millions and millions shed tears, become emotional, form new unions, form new associations and are set for their own uplift and liberation of the world and what not. Many a time it becomes a snow ball effect. Hundreds join, 500 join and then you and I join, not because we understood anything but we like that whole movement. All are joining, I have never seen such a thing, I am in for it. But what is it about? It is ‘the thing’ now and I am also joining. Amazing, that person talks and everyone is after him. Then you are enjoying joining, you don’t know what it is about. You may even say I am going to give my life for this.  But you don’t know the content. From that angle of view, one definitely wonders what is all religion about? But on the other side, a few who go and examine the actual teaching of great masters and find that they are so true. So this is a long debate.

      True spirituality flowers in the individual’s heart.

        In the heart of you and me. I would dare say, thinking about this other topic is waste of time.  Let us live our life, where we are. Our joy, our family, our relationships, our conflicts, everyone of us has enough of it. Swami Chinmayananda said, ‘problems in life are supplied free of cost.’  But your job is to try to solve the problems.

       So everyone of us has intriguing conflict, peculiar dilemma day after day we are handling it.

      In  this handling my conflict, typically what I do is I operate through the self judgment.

      I am so and so and not one sentence, in a split second it is as though a thousand sentences about who I am rise and the picture of mine, self image is built. And standing on the platform of self image I am trying to solve the problems. But we say this self image is the problem. This ‘finger’ is the problem, it is touching everywhere with the finger with a broken bone. We do not doubt the finger. In the same way we do not doubt that we could be, our own psychological structure about who we are could be the central issue. In one of the line of ‘saddarshanam’ Ramana Maharshiji says, the most wonderful way of being is, being without the self that is this self image.

       Imagine you are going for a morning walk and I bump on to you and ask, ‘how are you this morning? Are you still carrying that hurt of the other day? You look at me, ‘what hurt?’ you don’t even remember and I say, ‘that’s fine, keep it up’. I go my way and you go your way. All you see is there were some wonderful butterflies that morning. It will be heaven on earth if we have empty mind. Hardly anyone has this empty mind.

      The empty mind doesn’t have the plan to forgive, doesn’t have the plan to be compassionate.

      Empty in what sense?  Empty of the ‘I’. Ramana Maharshiji has an insight there. He says, ‘why do you waste time on long discussions on reality and falsehood, consciousness and inert insentient entity; nature of happiness and causes of sorrow; all philosophizing, all this is a wasteful talk.

      Stay in quiet attention and let thoughts behave themselves. You are not disciplining them. If you are aware, you stay in Attention. In that state of Attention thoughts behave themselves.

That state, a way of pure being, BE. It is the mind which goes to different states but be are Aware and Awareness is not a state that is the result of some process.  Awareness is your nature.  You and I are, I am and I am aware, is a truth.

       Stay in Attention, free of thought created ego or self. Where the world of joy and sorrow, world of birth and death doesn’t exist. This is actually what everyone denies but no one is going for it, everyone is side tracted, trapped in something else.

      As a child ‘you are’ and as an old man also ‘you are’ it is so natural. As a child you take sugar in your mouth it is sweet, as an old man also the sugar in your mouth will feel sweet. This is so natural to you. But as a child you look at a book with technical stuff, you may not get head or tail of it, but as an adult you may understand it. These are acquired, then you may forget also. But we are talking of, not even tongue’s taste as we may lose tongue’s taste when we have fever but Awareness just cannot go. It’s contradiction for anyone to say, ‘from early morning till now I am not being aware at all’ ‘I notice that I am not aware’ this is a contradiction. It is like as we have famous example in Indian logic system: vadato vyaaghaata some one goes up the stage and says, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like you to know that I am dumb!’ there is contradiction in the same way for anyone to say, ‘I am not aware’.

      Is there a certain truth about this? Are you not aware? Can you be that Awareness and not descend to the cell of thoughts and watch things from that medium of thoughts, watch that cell also? Can we be aware of mind created prison/cell without a comment.

      Silence is, not the dull silence, watchful silence, vigilant silence is the ultimate saadhanaa  spiritual practice, if we call it a practice.

      Alert silence is the highest spiritual practice.  But we are so fond of reacting, responding, saying something asked or not asked.

      We are caught in thought patterns. Are we using thoughts or are thoughts driving us? Suppose a thought rises, does it become a compulsion? Life is constantly coming in contact with various relationships. In all these relationships a heightened awareness makes thoughts subservient, in lack of awareness, thoughts get an upper hand over you. You could be very agitated and you could go berserk also.

      So this ‘I’ thought aham vrtti the self image is the crux of the whole problem.

       Let us now touch upon the oneness that comes about in the elimination of the self image. You can never plan to eliminate your ego. By living alertly, by being observant, by noticing the way the ego/self operates with no agenda, with no fragmented or compartmentalized or particularized plan.  For example, Monday I shall reduce my anger; Tuesday I shall reduce my wave of jealousy, so on and so forth. This compartmentalization can be very valid in other operations like studies because there is information, skills etc. but here in as much as this jealousy, this anger, this revengefulness, this inability to come to terms with situation are all extremely interrelated and we don’t know the pattern in which they immerge. Suppose Tuesday I want to settle jealousy but I have lot of happiness, I am extremely happy but what to do? Because this is extremely complex.

      The ways of the self are a million time more complex than even the super computers.  The best is not to have an agenda and be Aware.

       In  staying Aware, Alert, not to think about will I be able to stay alert? This is terrible! Doesn’t matter even a minute here and a minute there. One need not strain oneself in the name of Awareness. A minute here and a minute there- 2 minutes; especially when there is some fear, just say, ‘before I decide to do anything, let me notice what is happening to me?’ And then of course you have to take decision. And in watching, in moments of fear or in moments of hurt, in moments of sorrow, things happen on their own.

 In conclusion

      So if self image disappears then the person whom I need to forgive is no more a psychological construction in me. The actual person may be in front of me or he may be far away but he is no more a figure putting its pressure on my mind.

      The rubber surface of my mind does not have this heavy weight of someone to be forgiven causing a curvature there. The psychological plane is like a rubber surface, an elastic plane and my self image is like one weight, a mass and an image of that person far away and this other person near to me. The man far away I cannot forgive but man near to me —O how I wish he and I were together? And all these created dip.

       Now suppose images disappear that is when you have on one hand very objective picture of things and on the other, in as much as self image and other images have gone into thin air, you will not perceive a division at all. You will not make an issue of ‘he made that mistake, I did not’ 

      I, he, she…..when there is no pressure of  he/she/I , when there is no pressure of ‘who did that?’ here someone whom I like does it , it may be good. But if someone whom I don’t like does it, it is bad. Likes and dislikes, again a memory phenomenon.

                      So images go, likes and dislikes go, in that unbelievably, the wonder of wonders is the very division of you and me goes away. And then if my own teeth bite my tongue, there  is pain but I would not smash my teeth, I would not punish. Though there is no denying that this should not happen again.

       In the same way when there is no division of you and me, there is true love.

       The whole humanity is appreciated as one because of the elimination of the self image. Not because some books edit and we repeated that sentence ten times ‘we are one’. That has limited value. A peace march can bring some peace but the true peace, true freedom, true love, true forgiveness and true compassion is never possible by that ‘outside in’ approach. Because human mind is caught in certain judgment, certain rigidities. The loosening of those rigidities and letting go of thoughts of hatred and ultimately letting go the thoughts of division is what is required and that is where Awareness, not as a concept but as an actuality does the job.

MASTER SPEAKS: “While hundreds of psychological and other methods could be there to bring in us the healthy value of forgiveness and compassion, to go to the crux of the issue we need to see that our mind  repeats certain patterns of thinking, builds images of people with whom we have either anger or revenge and builds and rebuilds images of us who are at receiving end and those people who hurt us. This image building of those who did injustice to us and we who suffered, sustains a situation where true forgiveness can never take place.   In Attention and in Awareness, in seeing the entirety of these thought structures, there comes about a subsiding of these images, while functional memory remains, subjective memory goes away. There comes about an objective evaluation of things which is rooted in sense of oneness, promoting sympathy and there will be true forgiveness, true compassion as a natural flow”