Can we conquer time?

 Swami Chidananda

        Very rarely one can give the

         gift of time itself to another.

Now let us we consider the issue of Time. Time presents itself before us as external time as well as internal time. There is the clock time- everybody carries the wrist watch, everyone has time pieces. An attractive time piece is often a gift on a birthday or an anniversary and what not.

Time is measured outside and there is a subjective measurement of time. We shall dwell briefly on the external time and then go into internal time more. The brevity dwelling on external time is for two reasons; firstly, is in a matter of spiritual evolution, in the matter of inner transformation so that we be free from all negative energy and we may live harmoniously. Secondly, External time is not a player therefore; we shall not go in the external time for much time. Though I am always fascinated by the discoveries in science about the secrets of time, I somehow could not manage time so far, to get a handle on this relativity of time.

Briefly we know that time outside is now questioned in science, they say time is relative. Time outside is measured as ‘the distant between two events’ and what do we use to measure that distance between two events? For ordinary purposes we have a whole range of clocks and time pieces, wrist watches and what not but for very accurate measurement we use the speed of light itself as the yard stick. So sensor or instruments that can catch the photon (light particle) that are used to identify two events, give to us a measurement of Time. Speed of light has been accepted as a constant, though there is lot of question for the properties of light, these days. The idea that nothing can travel faster than light is questioned as most of us know, people have proposed some particles which travel faster than light. However in Einsteinian model using the speed of light a whole lot of measurement, understanding and determination of the universe was made. And we know how the literature on the relativity of Time touches on issues like measuring Time when the observer herself is moving at a speed closer to that of light.  Speed of light we understand is 186,000 miles/sec and if the observer, the experimenter is herself traveling at a speed close to that of light then we have all this talk— Time slowing down or Time speeding up—clock slowing down or rotating faster, depending upon the direction of the travel of the observer. We know very well that our picture of a star which is let’s say 3 light years away is not at all the picture of the star as it is now. Light year is not the unit of Time though it is called light year, it being a unit of distance. The picture we take of a star, 3 light years away is how it was 3 years ago.  By the time the light rays have come to our camera, the star out there might have changed; it might have become extinct also. So in very long distances and in situations where very high speeds are involved our idea of Time changes drastically. Today with respect to outer Time, with respect to outer space we have mind blowing observations or remarks in the scientific community.

Long back I heard the joke  that an old lady sat next to Albert Einstein on a bench in a park. Soon after his name came in all news papers. By sheer chance he thought that nobody will disturb him and she said to him, ‘looks like you are Albert Einstein whose picture has come in the news paper.’ And he says, ‘yes, ma’am.’ and the lady said, ‘now come tell me, I believe you have talked on relativity of Time, what is it all about? I could not make head or tail of it.’  Albert Einstein says, ‘look ma’am when you are sitting next to me five minutes go like an hour, if a college girl would sit next to me one hour will go like five minutes, that’s all I said using complex mathematical equations.’

You and I can appreciate jokes at least. To do justice to the relativity to this external Time a certain amount of exercise needs to be taken up. Not that it cannot be done; you just have to have Time & sit down with people of common interest and sort it out. So is with the space- is it regular or curved? Is Time an absolute or relative to parameters of the observer? Etc. are questions in science, which in a sense do have a bearing on the spiritual science but, in spiritual science we can go about understanding Time in a different way, we take a different approach.

Understanding time

• Interestingly the word in Sanskrit for Time has been kaala and kaala has also been the word for death. And Time often stands for death.  In many Indian languages it has been a practice to say when someone dies- ‘he became kaalavsha’ Time took him away.
• Lord Siva is call kaalakaalah he puts an end to Time itself. He is called antakaantakah. He is one who kills Yama, who is the killer of all. A whole lot of puranic symbolism has all along questioned Time. Things like when Lord Siva plays his Damaru that caused Time. Some old classic says such things, they have great poetic beauty and they make us wonder, they stun us, in a sense Time stops for us when we come across sublime literature. We are stunned; we are awe struck watching Grand Canyon or watching the large masses of water falling in Niagara. You and I literally stop and we say Time stopped for us.
• Vimala Thakar a great thinker on spiritual themes says, ‘meditation is meeting eternity in the present moment.’ In the present moment if all Time shrinks so to say. In the sense ordinarily we perceive past and future, we not only perceive but past and future seem to hold us in their grip. Our anxiety about what might happen tomorrow and our regrets about what happened yesterday are so palpable, so tangible and we are thus caught in the net of Time.  But in meditation, Vimalaji says, we meet eternity in the present moment. There is no pressure; there is no disturbance by past or future.  Without interpretation this as erasure of thoughts, absence of thoughts. We would say, ‘thoughts or no thoughts, figures or no figures, images or no images’. The sense of ‘I’ is free from pressure. All of us carry a sense of ‘I’. We carry a sense of ‘I’ and thoughts build this sense of ‘I’. If this sense of ‘I’ disappears into thin air then no matter what images, pictures, memories or thoughts about future might be suspended in the space of our awareness, there is an eternity caught in the present moment. As you and I are here dwelling on “Can we conquer Time” all the clocks, all the wrist watches, the wrist watch on the wrist of speaker included are ticking away ruthlessly, shamelessly with great glee.  They tick away, that is external Time.

But internally we experience Time, for some people Time drags so slowly, again and again they see the watch and some people check whether the watch is running or not. Whereas some others at the end of 90 minutes are shocked, it’s over so soon. Externally it is the same 90 minutes but internally for someone it was like ages. They may compliment the speaker also, it felt as if you spoke for ages today or they say to speaker, Oh! We don’t know how it all went; 90 minutes are over. They express in very different ways.

In the VIII chapter of Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says some queer things, but it always touches us, it fills us with wonder. He says-

-raatri yugasahasraantaam te’horaatravido janaah ||……8.17

Meaning: The knower of the secret of Time, those who knows the inner truth of day and night, know that one day of the creator Brahma equals 1000-s or millions of years of human nights.

So the two axis of Time you and I can go to an extent to appreciate, how; when we dream and in dream we perceive six hours we played golf and then we wake up and we find it was an afternoon nap for 10 minutes. So the waking life’s 10 minutes and the dream’s 6 hours are as though two axis of Time. And therefore in this spiritual classic with mythology and symbolism and whole lot of other things packed into one, possibly in the whole creation in which you and I are players, characters, is looked as the dream of the creator. When you dream, you create a golf ground and you play golf for six hours, 18 holes completed, good score. In your dream you created the space of golf ground and the six hours of Time and when you wake up and in your waking would all that passed was 10 minutes, could it be that there is mind of God which dreams and in the dream you and I are living and 1000-s & 1000-s of years passed in this dream of God’s mind. If God has his own waking axis of Time these 1000-s and millions of years are only one day in this waking state. That is how the movie like ‘Matrix’ etc. have played with these concepts of one domain of XYZ & T and then a virtual world, where another set of XYZ & T are created and in some mysterious way this hero and villain are able to go into that virtual world and all they need is the public booth to get back quickly.

Internal time

 So coming back to internal time, as I said spiritually it is very important. We have thoughts rather than distant between two events. Here we consider the distant between two concepts.  Psychological i.e. Inner Time is the distance between one concept of Who am I? And a second (neither of them is reality) concept of who I want to be? So I have a picture of who am I? Questionable indeed but I judge myself on a given day at a given point of Time. I judge myself a very well to do, I have made good money, in three generation in my family no one has done what I have done! There is one self judgment in a favorable light, as favorable as I want to have.  There is in my mind another picture of what I want to be. I am a millionaire but stop not till the goal is reached and goal is to be a billionaire. M needs to be replaced by B. So one self judgment then there is other self judgment and there is the becoming, will I become? Will I succeed? And in this mental movement wanting to become, there is hope, there is desire, there is fear and we experience an inner Time. Materially and in so called religious context, we want to become something. Psychological Time rises, the moment you have picture of having to become. I want to become like Vivekananda, I want to become a realized soul. God knows what it means. I was in bondage yesterday, I am the seeker today and I want to be liberated tomorrow. Some ideas. Will I? Suppose I am married. See I am describing hope, desire, fear, apprehension and the whole lot comes- husband, wife, neighbors, who joined a particular ashram, when, how many books I studied, he studies, who is senior? Etc. this is called becoming.

Now in this mental movement what happens is, we create another set of coordinates of becoming, reaching somewhere, arriving etc. and in the process we create Time. We have built the psychological Time, in the process we do not see the whole of the mind as it is; we have as though entered the virtual world of the mind and have become a player there. When you buy in to a self judgment, you become a character in the play for which you wrote the script. You are the director, you are the producer but alas! You forgot that it’s a play. You become the hero-suffering or enjoying, getting promoted or getting demoted and what a great unfolding of scenes after scenes. You and I are doing this every moment.

Can we suspect the whole of our mind? Can we look at the whole mind? As this entire thing needs to be seen again—revival. Generally we say one of these days I will do it. We are in the grip of time and no wonder time is death. Leave alone the clinical death at the age of 70 or 100, there is the psychological death about which Upanishads are very concerned. From which Upanishads wish to free us, when the Upanishads say, amratattva immortality—obviously they are not talking of freeing us from the psychological death. The body dies. Then what is immortality?  It is freeing from this field of becoming. ‘I am at peace with what I am.’ That does not mean I become irresponsible, that’s a hasty conclusion, don’t jump to that. I am in terms with the present moment, whatever I am, advanced or lagging behind, rich or poor, I don’t create judgment, then create a judgment of what I want to be and draw the lines. Something like drawing railway lines with track and run the train of the self, which is one more imagined thing on those tracks. Rather I stay silent, deep within me. The core of me is silent and may be seeing, may be eating, may be drinking and there are thoughts, there is planning, there is remembering something. But as the mind is into all these, think of it if there is silence and grasping of the whole then I am not touched by Time. Time is a parameter in this whole, but I am touching the whole, if I become a player in this scenario, I am caught by time. Like in a video game, there is character on screen and that fellow is in trouble because another character is chasing him and unless something is done, the second one will smash the first one. So you may try to save this first character and if you identify with the first character, you also get very panicky- what will happen now. Otherwise you are very safe. So in the mind Nintendo goes on—if we identify with this ‘I’ what is the true ‘I’ so not the clinical death but this creation of our thoughts, time created by thoughts by putting pressure and once in a while raising hope, but most of the time giving us undenied gift of anxiety is killing us slowly. They say Diabetes is a slow killer. Today the psychological Time is slow and more deadly killer.

In of the one act play in English there is a saying, ‘the brave die but once, the cowardly die again and again’ Everyday they die twenty times in every compromise, in every pretending, in every anxious moment, every time they tell a lie, they put up a façade. There is a slow dying. When are they alive? The cowardly are not alive. They are dying. The brave die but once.  Against this talking about ‘inner dying’, shrinking, this undesirable way of living that you and I have, no wonder Lord Sri Krishna declares in Bhagavad Geeta that

 Meaning:I am the time and I am all set to destroy this whole universe. Arjuna, if you think that it depends on you whether this war will take place or not, whether all these folks will die or not. You are mistaken. Even without you all those who have to die will die, for I have set it in motion, the great destroyer I am Time.

In the tenth chapter He describes himself as Time in a bit of a different context.  X:30 -kaalah kalayataamaham   

In all matters of counting now we have calculator. Long back we had Abacus, Slide rule, Vedic mathematics etc. Sri Krishna says, among all systems of counting or why among all who counts, I am the greatest counter!! And what aspect of you that counts? TIME I am Time, among those who count and I would attach a special greater inner importance to it. Because this mental movement where we perceive ourselves based on only limited information. Based on value system we perceive ourselves as so & so and in these two so & so there is a counting; will I become that in three days?  Will I become that in three years?  And religious inquiry also most people are unable to put aside the thought- ‘will I be free in this life?’ they pester their gurus.  The thought- will I be enlightened before I am 60-80 or at least in this life?  Without waiting for next life we say counting and the Lord is present He is the creator of whole universe.  Whole world is his dream as we said it before.

In the light of all this and going a bit deeper into how we are caught in psychological Time we may see that- The medium of thoughts brings the illusion of Time – That is clear. which sits heavily upon us when there is the ego, the self. If our involvement as a part of the whole scenario is put aside, we are the witness.

I am not a part of the scene but I am the quiet, uninvolved witness of whole of the mind then even though there may be thoughts, there may be movement, there may be an emerging of various scenarios one who pays attention to the whole of the mind will not feel the pressure of the Time,

will not feel driven by Time, dragged by Time, pulled & pushed by Time. When you have that inner stillness, when you have that absence of disease of wanting to become something, when you are handling this moment as though it is the only moment, you are giving your best to this moment. You are eating breakfast and you are savoring the breakfast fully.  All your taste buds are fully savoring spirituality is about it. When you are eating your breakfast with full attention there is great spirituality there. Eat when you eat, work when you work, sleep when you sleep, take bath when you are taking bath etc. are well known description of spiritual maturity. When I am taking bath, I think of office and in office I think, did I take my breakfast? This is considered as a really very disorderly living. When life has order, not according to some formula of this system or that system or rules like orderly life is to get up at 4 o’clock—is that getting up at 4 am has its value fine, but certainly it is not equated to orderly life. That is a system it is particular packaging. Orderly life is not at all in these external issues, it is absence of self created conflict. It is coming to terms with what life has brought you to. If I have some sickness I perceive all that that sickness brings to me. I am aware, awake and sensitive to every ounce of pain that sickness brings to me. Whether it is blockage of nose or cough or cold or some serious other disease. One is totally aware & sensitive and in that meeting with ‘what is’ through a generation of lot of associated thoughts, ‘why did I get this disease at this age of 42, it could have come at 46, why didn’t my neighbor get this, he deserves more than I’  these are called various unnecessary thoughts. ‘ I told my neighbor so many time, even now he doesn’t care to get up 4 am but I am getting up at 4 am’ this comparison is disorder. This comparison makes me live in a split personality. The neighbor snoring away at that hour is at least in a sense, in a great order. He is asleep and he is not comparing his sleep with my meditation. He has to come to terms with his sleep. When we are snoring away, then we don’t have conflict. Some of us here later on say, ‘Oh, how much I slept and being a Swami can I sleep at all?’

Awareness & Internal Time

The self, the ego, ahamvrtti the thought I am this, I am that, is so integral so vital to the creation of this psychological Time. When you create the concept of ‘you are this and you are that’ and give reality to it, breathe life into it, which you do it, in such an artistic ways, you cannot escape the illusion of becoming. Whereas in total attention what Vedanta calls saakshibhaava witness hood; which books talk about but lot of common people live it and it’s not really necessary to read big books to live this. To live this life, life of real integration, it’s not the books, we say divine grace it is an insight and God knows how that insight comes to X or Y.  How someone like Ramana at the young age of 17 when all believed he was just ordinary like anyone else gets a fear of death and decides to watch that entire business called dying instead of crying for help, instead of escaping from it, instead of some 3^rd or 4^th factor to it. He rather takes the fear of death and says, ‘I have this fear and today I tend to think from two factors: the fear of death and me’. He arrives at one factor alone, which is ‘fear’. What is this ‘me’.  Psychologically when I have the fear of death; the ‘me’ is in terms of – ‘I was healthy up to yesterday, today what is happening to me’ a description of oneself; ‘I am only seventeen, why this chest pain and why this fear of death, why my whole body is trembling.’ Again you describe yourself in some way. So suppose you watch fear, you go through fear with no thought of your identity, not even thinking, ‘I am a man and I have this fear’ or ‘ I am a woman  and I have this fear’ this is description. ‘this morning I told someone that with God’s grace I have a wonderful health and now this is happening to me’ this is description. In pure attention, there is no room for all this description. No one has asked you and there is no business to give some story.  In pure attention, it is a simple affair and yet slips through our fingers—here is fear and I don’t describe myself in anyway and in moment of not describing myself in anyway, there is no ‘me’ there is only ‘fear’ and in there being only ‘fear’ a transformation takes place.

That is how Ramana later said, ‘I watched my dying, the body became cold, blood circulation stopped, breathing stopped, I watched all this, non-verbally, I watched all these without a single word in Tamil or English passing through me. No word arose, non-verbally I watched’. And this is a great mystery. I would imagine that there was being with fear with no thinking and no dullness phase. If you see a serpent, you see the serpent with no thought but you are not dull. If you are dull you would not see the snake properly. Can you see the snake, the snake expands & raises its hood and you have fear in you—you watch whatever ‘is’ at that time. Not adding spice to it, not giving a commentary. Then something can happen. That moment of fear can be a moment of radical transformation in you. Then Time which kills you is killed. You kill the Time, there is no you really, the awareness kills Time.

In USA they have an expression: ‘doing time’ which means serving a prison term. Yes, when we do Time we create Time in thoughts. We create the psychological Time in the medium of desire & hope, fear & anxiety, and then we are in fact like prisoners.

Enlightened being undo Time, they set themselves free. It is said two great souls, both of them whom we believe were enlightened- Anandamayi Ma and Papa Ramadas going once in a car to attend a certain function. Half way through the journey Papa Ramadas looked at his wrist watch and Anandamayi Ma nudged him and teased him, ‘Oh I didn’t know Papa is in time.’ (I thought you have transcendent the Time- that is what she meant.) And Papa jovially replies, ‘Oh no, Papa is both in Time and beyond Time.’ And journey continues no issue, no conflict.

In Time as well as beyond Time

So what is it to be in Time as well as beyond Time?  Functional clock time is always in our life, it is part of life, but the psychological Time is our own creation.

Ramana talks about Time in his Saddarshanam first of all he says, ‘our problem is, we have taken the present moment for granted’ in one of the two shlokas which dwell on the mystery of Time in Saddarshanam which was originally ULLUDUNNAPATTA He says,

 -bhutam bhavishyacca  bhavat  svakaale

-tadvartamaanasya  vihaaya tattvam             |

-haasyaa na kim syaat gata-bhaavi-carcaa 

-vinaika-sankhyaam  gananeva  loke           ||

He asks is it not ridiculous to try to understand future and past without having total attention in the present, without understanding the present? It would be ridiculous indeed to go into future and past without understanding the present. Very much like without knowing number one, one is counting. One does not count one. You give somebody a box of marbles and he starts counting 7,8,9…….etc. you wonder. One man asked the other man to check the bundle of currency note of 100 notes. The man started counting loudly up to 91 and then said, ‘its ok’ the other man said you didn’t count upto 100 you stopped in between. The man said, ‘up to 91 it was alright, so it should be alright afterwards too.’ This is very silly haasyaspada. These are all quite profound things. I may ask some right questions here. Can you and I understand the present moment in it whole? Like the issue of desire—which at first sight is a simple affair which has to be controlled or which has to be okayed depending on whether it meets the requirement. Go by some value systems, go by some charts and classify—these are good desires in me, these are bad. What is the big deal, just indulge in good desire and control your self in bad desire and go ahead.

But those who exercise with more attention, see the truth about desire. Desire is not simple that you classify and take a decision. With all respect for those sources of guidance which are true also some desire literally destroy you, some others are really good & good for others too. But to presume that you can stop the wrong desire and go ahead with right desire, in very simple way is rather childish. So just like that there too you and I ‘wonder’ this present moment —what is there to know about the present moment.

 -vartamaanasya tattvam vihaaya haasyan kim says Ramana.

This moment –it’s ok. No! That’s not the question. Right now in this moment, right in my mind I have a summary of entire suffering of my life, suffering of my life is in a nut-shell contained in the present moment. To breathe this present moment is to put my whole life in order—this is the mystery there.

In the above first verse (Ramana – Saddarshanam) there is an intense appeal for understanding the present moment in its entirety. Outside – inside. So many factors make me desire something. If I am desiring at this moment, if I am fearing, whatever may be the fear, if I am fearing at this moment, this moment of fear in me has lot of factors in it. And generally we see the tip of the ice berg and we are in panic. In fact it is rightly said that fear is not so much a problem, but the fear about the fear. So undoing it if we meet with fear, there is a different dimension. That is meeting the present moment and when we meet the present moment being fully present, available to the present moment, then we have chance to meet entirety in present moment.

In the second verse of Saddarshanam  Ramana asks:

-dikkaala-lileha  vapurvayam  cet    |

-na kvaapi  bhaamo na kadaapi  bhaamo

-vayam  tu  sarvatra  sadaa  ca  maamah    ||  18  ||

 This verse means –our entire grasp of the psychological Time, incidentally the verse touches on space also, but we shall highlight Time only. Our entire perception of psychological Time. At this rate where I am heading? Where is my family heading? This entire scenario of psychological Time rests on he says our belief that we are the body. Literally it means body consciousness. But I would slightly elaborate it. The entire scenario, our being subject to psychological Time rests on our notion—that we are successful or we are a failure, we are handsome or not good looking—a judgment. If there is no self judgment, not by deciding not to have one but by being gently aware. Just as to have a sip of water, do I have to know I am Swami Chidananda? To have a sip of water do I have to know I am 46 years old. The illustration is for 1000-s of things, for lots of things in daily life—there is no need really to put myself in pigeon hole—I am so and so and I am from India—-who is asking?  But we tend to carry these thoughts in some strange way. And everyone has to seek out for oneself—I am sure but everyone says is it not necessary to plan, to go?  And I agree it is necessary to plan, but for one ounce of planning we do infinite ounces of going into the future. So for things to fall in place there needs to be a discernment viveka and there need to be a child like simplicity to us which doesn’t collide with our skills and talents, profession, abilities, knowledge of language, place & people. You and I as we grope has a whole lot of knowledge and in the light of that knowledge we have a certain identity. So this identity & the knowledge and the use of the knowledge do not have to collide with a child like simplicity. In the child like simplicity one lives in gentle awareness and at the right time one uses an identity, plans and goes ahead.  At the right time one uses the right identity. Somebody at some airport, at some public place, at some counter, where lots of people are waiting for their name to be called. Let us say, I am there and they call, ‘Chidananda’ then it warrants my responding in ‘Swami Chidananda’ they called my name and I go present myself at the counter. In contrast to sip a bit of water there is no recall needed. So in gentle awareness things fall into places. The identity of our being this or that, our being householder or sanyasin, once being father of three or mother of two etc. rises at the right time, does not raise its head at other times. Then Ramana would say this dehbuddhi I am this, I am that sits outside and then there is no psychological Time. One lives with a touch of eternity. One lives with a great depth, with a great profoundness. Not the depth or breadth of the scholar, not of information but the depth, the profoundness of that being, simple being. So Ramana seems to point to that as he says, when this ‘I’ thought, when this ego, when this self pointed favorable one morning and pointed unfavorable on rather other occasion is out of the scenario. Thought do not make a picture for me. When we drink water without a single thought of who we are then do we have any special limitation at all in inner experience wise.  The sense of ‘I’ has no boundary then and do we have psychologically any boundary in time, for the sense of ‘I’. Thoughts create the boundary and meeting eternity in the present moment is being free from the mischief of thoughts.

 “Time stands still” poet says. What is it after all?  It is absolutely not stopping of all the clocks. When the Lord decides, rising waves stop for a moment. The waving trees stop for a moment. Everything halts for a moment, in movies they show. And we say could it happen?  It is said that the great lady Anusuya said to the sun, ‘don’t set this evening’ and the sun stopped.  Today’s physics student can have logic for it. The earth stopped rotating, so we are curious to give an explanation. You and I are very thrilled in the beginning with this kind of physical stoppage. But the poets and mystics are not at all talking about physical stoppage of clocks or waves or sun or moon or any object. You are driving at 70 miles/hr. on the free way and without making that 70 to 69 without slowing down in terms of car speed, your anxieties can come down, your fears can come down, in an appreciation of truth your thoughts can slow down without making you dull and going by some 70 miles, fully aware of the traffic scenario you could meet eternity in the present moment. Your heart could be immersed in an indescribable love. No regret, no fear you are ready to live, you are ready to die, you are ready to meet life as life comes to you without any thought about it and you drive on, live on….

                                                           HARIH  OM !